Wednesday, 30 September 2015

MAEVE: I FEEL AFRAID...

It's problem page time again on DREAMCATCHER… reader Maeve has a problem for Cherry Costello. Will you agree with Cherry's advice?

Maeve says:
I was bullied for a long time in the past, although it did get sorted and it hasn't happened for a long time now. The trouble is, now that term has started again I feel afraid every single day and I don't really know why. I used to self-harm in the past and I am scared that if I feel this anxious all the time, it will start happening again. What do I do?

Cherry says:
The problem with bullying is that it damages your confidence and self-esteem, and the damage can go on long after the bullying has stopped. When I was bullied, I resorted to building a fantasy world around myself and it took a long time for me to realise I didn't need it. For you, anxiety is ruining your new term at school… even though the bullying is over, the after affects are still making life an ordeal for you. In the past, self-harm has been a coping mechanism for you, but you know this is not a solution… it can only make things worse. You need to talk to a school counsellor and also to your family doctor to get some support, because you do NOT want to go back to that place. Once the anxiety and fear is under control, the urge to self-harm should subside. Is there anything else that can help you to handle difficult feelings? Call a friend, play your music loudly, write in a diary, paint a picture, sing, dance, go for a run/ swim/ gym workout… all kinds of things can help. Cathy's book LETTERS TO CATHY has several chapters on building self-esteem, which can help you to feel stronger and more able to handle the stresses of school. Good luck - you CAN do it!

Cathy says:
Great advice from Cherry. What would YOU add, to help Maeve cope? COMMENT BELOW to have your say...

2 comments:

  1. I was bullied for as long as I can remember & I know how you feel. If you haven't already then I'd recomend reading the confidence 'tricks' chapter in 'letters to Cathy'. Good luck!!! ;-)

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  2. I was bullyed for a year and now I have to go to school with the person who bullyed me. You have to stick with your friends and use breathing techniques. That's what worked for me(at least until I was blackmailed into speaking to her)

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