Thursday, 30 November 2017

HELEN: I FELL OUT WITH MY COUSIN

It's problem page time again on DREAMCATCHER, and reader Helen has a problem for HONEY TANBERRY to sort out...

Hannah says:
I was upset a few weeks ago because my cousin Sara forgot my birthday. We're quite close and I felt very hurt, and I went on Facebook and posted about it. She was really upset and hurt and suddenly it was like I was the bad guy. I messaged my aunt and told her to tell Sara I forgave her and she did, so I think it will all blow over, but my mum told me I should be more careful in future. I don't think anyone is thinking about how I feel. What do you think?

Honey says:
First of all, I'll come clean. I forget birthdays. I've forgotten my friends' birthdays a few times, especially if they don't remind me ahead of time. I've forgotten my dad's birthday, and Paddy's, and even Coco's once, and she has never let me forget it. We live busy lives and we DO forget things sometimes, even things to do with people we care about. If your cousin is a great friend the rest of the year, what does it matter if she forgot one birthday? Second, and this is a life lesson - when you're angry, stay off Facebook. Posting things that will hurt or shame other people is NOT OK, and your cousin had every right to feel upset. I'm glad you've forgiven her, but I hope you also asked her to forgive you for the angry post! Lastly, and this is huge - the truth is, other people probably aren't thinking about how you feel, not all of the time, anyway. They all have so much going on that they can't put you first the whole time, and although as a teen it often feels that the world revolves around you, the truth is that it doesn't. Your pride took a dent and your lovely cousin made a mistake - it's time now to let go and move on. Nobody's perfect, after all!

Cathy says:
Good sense and some seriously straight talking from Honey on this. It can feel really hurtful and unfair when someone forgets your birthday, especially if you remembered theirs, but we do lead hectic lives and these things happen. Let your cousin know you don;t bear a grudge! Have YOU got a problem for one of the Tanberry/ Costello sisters to solve on DREAMCATCHER? Email your problem via the 'email Cathy' link on www.cathycassidy.com and your worry might be featured in a future post. And don't forget to COMMENT BELOW to add your own advice for Helen!

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