Another in our problem page series… this week, reader Grace asks Skye Tanberry for some friendship advice…
Grace says:
Me and my friends used to be really close, but lately I am feeling so left out. One of my best friends is distancing herself from me… one day we'll be hanging out and having fun, the next day it's like she's forgotten all about me and hangs out with others. I was never really confident in the past and always had a small group of friends, but I am a bit more out there now… I'm afraid to be too friendly to others though in case she drops me totally. I've tried heaps of times to hang out with her and be included, but it just keeps happening… and I really miss the friend I once knew so well.
Skye says:
I do understand this… my friend Millie used to blow hot and cold too, and worse, she often went off with my twin and left me out in the cold. That was really hard to handle. Millie and I are OK again now, but sometimes people change so much there's really not much left of the person you once knew so well… I have seen this happen to other friends a few times. It sounds as though you have tried hard to sort this out. Have you asked your other friends what they think, and tried to talk things through with the girl herself? It may yet be possible to clear the air and rebuild some closeness. If this doesn't help, I think you need to make new friends so you are not so reliant on her. You cannot wait around each day, hoping that she'll have time to be with you; you cannot put your life on hold for her. Watching an old friendship fade is hard, but sometimes you really have no option but to let it go and move on. Good luck.
Cathy says:
Sadly, friendship isn't always forever… and Grace's dilemma is not an unusual one. Do YOU agree with Skye's advice? COMMENT BELOW to have your say!
Grace says:
Me and my friends used to be really close, but lately I am feeling so left out. One of my best friends is distancing herself from me… one day we'll be hanging out and having fun, the next day it's like she's forgotten all about me and hangs out with others. I was never really confident in the past and always had a small group of friends, but I am a bit more out there now… I'm afraid to be too friendly to others though in case she drops me totally. I've tried heaps of times to hang out with her and be included, but it just keeps happening… and I really miss the friend I once knew so well.
I do understand this… my friend Millie used to blow hot and cold too, and worse, she often went off with my twin and left me out in the cold. That was really hard to handle. Millie and I are OK again now, but sometimes people change so much there's really not much left of the person you once knew so well… I have seen this happen to other friends a few times. It sounds as though you have tried hard to sort this out. Have you asked your other friends what they think, and tried to talk things through with the girl herself? It may yet be possible to clear the air and rebuild some closeness. If this doesn't help, I think you need to make new friends so you are not so reliant on her. You cannot wait around each day, hoping that she'll have time to be with you; you cannot put your life on hold for her. Watching an old friendship fade is hard, but sometimes you really have no option but to let it go and move on. Good luck.
Cathy says:
Sadly, friendship isn't always forever… and Grace's dilemma is not an unusual one. Do YOU agree with Skye's advice? COMMENT BELOW to have your say!
I completely agree with Skye's advice! I've been in exactly this situation before with a friend I've been at the same school with since nursery. When she went on holiday I made friends with a new girl. When my friend cane back from holiday, she was jealous of the fact that I'd made a new friend. Now we're at secondary school and we're in different friendship groups, but still talk to each other, although we aren't as close.
ReplyDeletestay strong!!!
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