Friday 28 September 2018

WHEN IS A FRIEND NOT A FRIEND?

Reader KRISTINA shares some tips on how to recognise when your friend isn't really being a friend..

Kristina says:
I've been asked to write a little more about friendship, and I thought I'd explore what happens when a friendship goes wrong and for one reason or another you find yourself in a relationship that just isn't healthy. The question is, how do you recognise this? Here are some of the warning signs!

The friendship feels uneven - you're doing all the work, she's just along for the ride.
She tries to put you down, even in front of others
When you succeed at something, she doesn't share your happiness; she seems dismissive or even jealous
She takes advantage of you
She's really hard work - you run around in circles trying to keep her happy
She demolishes your character and says she's just being honest and is only trying to help
She can't keep a secret
She makes you feel like second best - or worse
She tries to conrol everything you say, do, wear, think
She only wants to hang out with you when she's got nothing better to do
She lets you do all the running
She's too full-on and demanding - you feel smothered
You couldn't turn to her in a crisis
You notice she's quite spiteful about others, even those who are supposed to be friends
You can't trust her
You dread her texts, messages and calls
You tread on eggshells when you see her - everything seems stressful
You feel flat and tired after seeing her

Sometimes, a friendship can go through a bad patch, but if you know things aren't fixable, it may be time to step back from a toxic friend. This happened to me when I was thirteen, and in a friendship with someone who made me feel really bad. I out up with it for longer than I should have because I was scared of being lonely, but actually once I made the break I felt a million times better and made new friends quite qucikly... it turned out my classmates had kept their distance because they were wary of her!

Be your own friend and don't put up with a toxic friendship... you really do deserve better.

Cathy says:
Great advice from Kristina! Have YOU ever found yourself tangled up in a toxic friendship? COMMENT BELOW to tell us more!

1 comment:

  1. I Kronos the feeling I had a friendship like that for four years in primary. I can't stress the importance of breaking away it made me a new person. If you are in a "toxic"relationship with a friend break free

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