Reader KRISTINA sheds her wisdom on the difficulties and transitory state of friendships.
KRISTINA SAYS:
We've all been there... that feeling of being left out when you're not included in a playground game as a little kid, the worry that your BFF may be drifting away, the treading-on-eggshells feeling of navigating high school friendships when you're part of a group but somehow always on the edge. Friendship can be the most important thing in our growing up years. A good friendship is a kind of treasure, and a bad one is nothing short of torment.
We idealise friendships, but the truth is that it's always a give-and-take thing and sometimes a best friend might not be forever. Letting go of a best friend can be painful, but it's rare that the person who was a perfetct match for us at age five will still be a soul mate ten years on. Instead of looking for that mythical perfect person, collect good friends wherever you find them... friends are like books, you can never have too many! It doesn't matter if your friends don't all get on; if some share your love of a particuler hobby and others are mad about nail varnish and boys; if some are at school, some nearer to where you live; if some are extravert and full of fun, others quiet and gentle; if they're boys or girls, older or younger, if you share a culture or a religion or not... you get the picture!
Sadly, friends are not always what they seem. Nobody's perfect, and some people will treat you badly, whether they plan to or not. Be aware. If a friend seems to be using you for what she can get, tread carefully. If she lies or cheats or controls or repeatedly excludes you, be careful. If she puts you down and undermines your confidence, step back... you're looking for a friend, not a 'frenemy'.
If a friendship drifts or dies, let go gracefully, even if you feel hurt. Be glad for the fun times you shared, and remember that not all friendships are meant to last forever. There will be more friendships ahead, wonderful ones. It's sometimes easy to take a friend for granted... take a moment to show your friends how much they mean to you, with a text or an email, a snapchat photo, a phone call, a letter, a hug. One thing I've learnt about friendship is that it grows when you look after it.
Cathy says:
Wise words from Kristina! What are YOUR tips for keeping a friendship strong? COMMENT BELOW to have your say!
KRISTINA SAYS:
We idealise friendships, but the truth is that it's always a give-and-take thing and sometimes a best friend might not be forever. Letting go of a best friend can be painful, but it's rare that the person who was a perfetct match for us at age five will still be a soul mate ten years on. Instead of looking for that mythical perfect person, collect good friends wherever you find them... friends are like books, you can never have too many! It doesn't matter if your friends don't all get on; if some share your love of a particuler hobby and others are mad about nail varnish and boys; if some are at school, some nearer to where you live; if some are extravert and full of fun, others quiet and gentle; if they're boys or girls, older or younger, if you share a culture or a religion or not... you get the picture!
Sadly, friends are not always what they seem. Nobody's perfect, and some people will treat you badly, whether they plan to or not. Be aware. If a friend seems to be using you for what she can get, tread carefully. If she lies or cheats or controls or repeatedly excludes you, be careful. If she puts you down and undermines your confidence, step back... you're looking for a friend, not a 'frenemy'.
If a friendship drifts or dies, let go gracefully, even if you feel hurt. Be glad for the fun times you shared, and remember that not all friendships are meant to last forever. There will be more friendships ahead, wonderful ones. It's sometimes easy to take a friend for granted... take a moment to show your friends how much they mean to you, with a text or an email, a snapchat photo, a phone call, a letter, a hug. One thing I've learnt about friendship is that it grows when you look after it.
Cathy says:
Wise words from Kristina! What are YOUR tips for keeping a friendship strong? COMMENT BELOW to have your say!
What email address can I write to you?
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