Reader Izzy shares her problem with Skye Tanberry on today's problem page post. Read on to hear Skye's advice!
Izzy says:
I have just started secondary school and it’s going really well! I'm not in the same class as my best friend from primary, K, but I’m fitting in great and making new friends. There is one new friend, L, that I am especially close to… the thing is, K is getting jealous and acting weird around me. She keeps making sarky comments to us when we’re together and acting quite mean. It's really upsetting me. What should I do?
Skye says:
K is clearly feeling threatened by your new friendship, and perhaps worried about losing you. Could it be that she hasn't found settling into secondary school quite as easy? If she's struggling, she may be relying more than you think on old friendships, and feel your newfound confidence and popularity to be some kind of dig at her own uncertainty. If she feels she is losing you, her actions may become irrational and unfair, hence the sarcasm and nastiness... she's trying to get your attention, even though the mean streak is actually more likely to drive you away. Think for a moment how you might feel if things were reversed, and you were watching K make new friends while you were alone. If you value your friendship with K, talk to her about this and explain that you value her and would hate to lose her, but need to spread your friendship net a little now that you're in secondary school. You may decide to try getting her together with L, although any potential friendship certainly hasn't got off to a good start, so you'll have to judge whether this will work or not. Perhaps choose instead to make time to see K on her own, both in and out of school, to reassure her that the bond between you is still strong. Making new friends is brilliant, but hanging onto the old ones is even better... and with a little thought and care, you can do both!
Cathy says:
Some great advice from Skye... let's hope Izzy can get this dilemma sorted! Have YOU any suggestions to help her? COMMENT BELOW to have your say!
Izzy says:
I have just started secondary school and it’s going really well! I'm not in the same class as my best friend from primary, K, but I’m fitting in great and making new friends. There is one new friend, L, that I am especially close to… the thing is, K is getting jealous and acting weird around me. She keeps making sarky comments to us when we’re together and acting quite mean. It's really upsetting me. What should I do?
K is clearly feeling threatened by your new friendship, and perhaps worried about losing you. Could it be that she hasn't found settling into secondary school quite as easy? If she's struggling, she may be relying more than you think on old friendships, and feel your newfound confidence and popularity to be some kind of dig at her own uncertainty. If she feels she is losing you, her actions may become irrational and unfair, hence the sarcasm and nastiness... she's trying to get your attention, even though the mean streak is actually more likely to drive you away. Think for a moment how you might feel if things were reversed, and you were watching K make new friends while you were alone. If you value your friendship with K, talk to her about this and explain that you value her and would hate to lose her, but need to spread your friendship net a little now that you're in secondary school. You may decide to try getting her together with L, although any potential friendship certainly hasn't got off to a good start, so you'll have to judge whether this will work or not. Perhaps choose instead to make time to see K on her own, both in and out of school, to reassure her that the bond between you is still strong. Making new friends is brilliant, but hanging onto the old ones is even better... and with a little thought and care, you can do both!
Cathy says:
Some great advice from Skye... let's hope Izzy can get this dilemma sorted! Have YOU any suggestions to help her? COMMENT BELOW to have your say!
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