Another in our regular problem page column... reader Miki has a problem for Honey Tanberry to solve...
Miki says:
My best friends are constantly fighting and I am stuck in the middle. Whenever they make up again, one says something that the other one thinks is rude or mean and they fight again. I am trying to help them solve their issues, but they won't listen to me and the situation is really starting to get to me...
Honey says:
Talk honestly to both friends - but separately. Be clear that you are worn out with their bickering and need to know if the rift in their friendship can ever genuinely be healed... you need to know how they feel about each other and then make a decision about whether it is worth your efforts to help them stay close. At the moment, it sounds as though they are enjoying the drama and attention - they have you running round trying to bring them together, sure, but nothing stays calm for long. They may be addicted to the fall-outs and the fighting. Let them know that you're going to step back and let them sort out their own troubles from now on - it sounds harsh, but as you've admitted this is not an easy situation for you and there's really no need for you to be put in the middle of their rows. If you take a back seat, they will have to find a way to patch things up or even break apart... and that's their decision. If they do split, you will have to find a way to see each of them separately - but the constant fighting will be over. For now, find some more chilled friends to hang out with and keep your fingers crossed that the fighting will burn itself out soon. Good luck!
Cathy says:
Honey has a point... being in the middle of someone else's argument is no fun at all. Do YOU agree with Honey's advice? What would you add? COMMENT BELOW to have your say!
Miki says:
My best friends are constantly fighting and I am stuck in the middle. Whenever they make up again, one says something that the other one thinks is rude or mean and they fight again. I am trying to help them solve their issues, but they won't listen to me and the situation is really starting to get to me...
Talk honestly to both friends - but separately. Be clear that you are worn out with their bickering and need to know if the rift in their friendship can ever genuinely be healed... you need to know how they feel about each other and then make a decision about whether it is worth your efforts to help them stay close. At the moment, it sounds as though they are enjoying the drama and attention - they have you running round trying to bring them together, sure, but nothing stays calm for long. They may be addicted to the fall-outs and the fighting. Let them know that you're going to step back and let them sort out their own troubles from now on - it sounds harsh, but as you've admitted this is not an easy situation for you and there's really no need for you to be put in the middle of their rows. If you take a back seat, they will have to find a way to patch things up or even break apart... and that's their decision. If they do split, you will have to find a way to see each of them separately - but the constant fighting will be over. For now, find some more chilled friends to hang out with and keep your fingers crossed that the fighting will burn itself out soon. Good luck!
Cathy says:
Honey has a point... being in the middle of someone else's argument is no fun at all. Do YOU agree with Honey's advice? What would you add? COMMENT BELOW to have your say!
Totes feel the same way my friends are always arguing forcing me into the middle it isn't fun hope your friends find a way to settle this arguments.
ReplyDeletetotally agree
ReplyDeleteSame with me. Luckily, the friend that usually started the arguments went to a different secondary school to me and my best friend.
ReplyDelete