It's problem page time again and reader Lia is stressed out about tests and secondary school... can Cherry Costello help her to get things in perspective?
Lia says:
In a few weeks, my friends and I will be taking tests to see if we will be selected for a particular secondary school our parents all want us to attend. I study hard, but I worry that I am not as smart as my friends and I think that they will get in and I won't, and I will have to go somewhere else. I cry a lot about this and I'm feeling so low about it. My friends know how I feel but they don't understand what it's like. I just know they'll all get in and their friendship will be closer than ever, and I won't and I will have to make new friends and it won't be the same. I'm so scared of the future... it doesn't look good.
Cherry says:
I am not a fan of selective tests, because they don't test all of a person's qualities... and those who do less well than others can end up feeling like failures, which is NOT what they are at all. Are your parents and/or teachers concerned about the tests? Have you had private tutoring or extra help? Do others feel confident you will pass and get into your preferred choice of school? I cannot predict how things will turn out, but I do know that if you change your attitude to one of positivity your chances of success in whatever comes next will be far greater. Expecting the worst often means we get just that. I understand how worrying it can feel to start at a new school where you know nobody... this happened to me when I moved to Tanglewood. I am naturally quite shy but I DID make new friends and you can too. Change is not always something to fear - in fact, it's an essential part of growing up, and life does throw us challenges along the way. Learning to handle them and do our best in every situation is what matters. Whatever happens, you are NOT a failure, and your future can and should be wonderful. Please talk to your parents and let them know how stressed you are feeling, and get some support and reassurance. And be kind to yourself - you are way more awesome than you know!
Cathy says:
Good advice from Cherry... have YOU ever stressed over an important test or exam, or had to start a new school from scratch? COMMENT BELOW to have your say!
Lia says:
In a few weeks, my friends and I will be taking tests to see if we will be selected for a particular secondary school our parents all want us to attend. I study hard, but I worry that I am not as smart as my friends and I think that they will get in and I won't, and I will have to go somewhere else. I cry a lot about this and I'm feeling so low about it. My friends know how I feel but they don't understand what it's like. I just know they'll all get in and their friendship will be closer than ever, and I won't and I will have to make new friends and it won't be the same. I'm so scared of the future... it doesn't look good.
I am not a fan of selective tests, because they don't test all of a person's qualities... and those who do less well than others can end up feeling like failures, which is NOT what they are at all. Are your parents and/or teachers concerned about the tests? Have you had private tutoring or extra help? Do others feel confident you will pass and get into your preferred choice of school? I cannot predict how things will turn out, but I do know that if you change your attitude to one of positivity your chances of success in whatever comes next will be far greater. Expecting the worst often means we get just that. I understand how worrying it can feel to start at a new school where you know nobody... this happened to me when I moved to Tanglewood. I am naturally quite shy but I DID make new friends and you can too. Change is not always something to fear - in fact, it's an essential part of growing up, and life does throw us challenges along the way. Learning to handle them and do our best in every situation is what matters. Whatever happens, you are NOT a failure, and your future can and should be wonderful. Please talk to your parents and let them know how stressed you are feeling, and get some support and reassurance. And be kind to yourself - you are way more awesome than you know!
Cathy says:
Good advice from Cherry... have YOU ever stressed over an important test or exam, or had to start a new school from scratch? COMMENT BELOW to have your say!
I recently had to apply to a secondary school... Just because I lived outside the catchment area!! I luckily got in but was worrying for ages. Tell your friends how you feel - I'm sure they're nervous too! Xx
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