Reader Shriya tells us what it's like to cope with Borderline Personality Disorder in this honest and inspiring post...
Shriya says:
I have depression and Borderline Personality Disorder... it's a disorder which means you are very very sensitive and at times it causes your emotions to go haywire. I was really unhappy, sad and depressed and was harming myself too. Some days I just wanted to sleep and other times I wanted to kill myself because the emotional pain was so bad. A family member often put me down and that made things worse. My mum took me to the doctor - my best friend, who is an online friend, alerted her to how I was feeling and although I was angry at first I'm grateful now. I find it harder to make friends than some people do - I expect things to be perfect and if they're not I give up easily, and I find it hard t to trust people. I struggle to concentrate at school and I can't sit still for long, which makes life difficult. I can get upset of angry very fast, but as I'm a quiet person I don't express it; in the past i have turned the anger on myself, but these days I have learned to talk to someone, usually ChildLine.
I get a lot of help from my doctor and I am on medication which really does help me to feel better. I get fantastic support from my best friend too... as I mentioned, she's an online friend and I have never actually met her, but she understands me and I trust her completely. I am now a member of the ChildLine message boards - this are an awesome place where kids can support each other through difficult times. No problem is too big or too small to talk about - you can post about anything from arguments with siblings to bigger things like drinking and even doubts about periods and stuff. It is a safe space and very supportive.
I think taking care of our mental health is very important for us all - and of course you don't need to have a problem to be aware of what's going on in your mind and in your feelings! Talking things out, exercising and doing things that you enjoy can all bring contentment and help us to stay healthy. And if you do feel that something is bothering you, that something is wrong, there is absolutely no shame in asking for help! It is difficult to handle these issues, but a part of me sees it as a positive thing because it has taught me how to calm down properly and ask for help. I also find the joy in little things these days, which helps so much. I write a dairy and a gratitude journal in which I write things that make me happy every day, and I find that craft, music and cycling all help a lot. Being sensitive is not all bad... it can help very much in understanding other people, and I think we all need to do a lot more of that!
Cathy says:
I love Shriya's honesty and openness... and her courage in turning things around. Have YOU ever struggled with mental health issues? COMMENT BELOW to have your say!
I have depression and Borderline Personality Disorder... it's a disorder which means you are very very sensitive and at times it causes your emotions to go haywire. I was really unhappy, sad and depressed and was harming myself too. Some days I just wanted to sleep and other times I wanted to kill myself because the emotional pain was so bad. A family member often put me down and that made things worse. My mum took me to the doctor - my best friend, who is an online friend, alerted her to how I was feeling and although I was angry at first I'm grateful now. I find it harder to make friends than some people do - I expect things to be perfect and if they're not I give up easily, and I find it hard t to trust people. I struggle to concentrate at school and I can't sit still for long, which makes life difficult. I can get upset of angry very fast, but as I'm a quiet person I don't express it; in the past i have turned the anger on myself, but these days I have learned to talk to someone, usually ChildLine.
I get a lot of help from my doctor and I am on medication which really does help me to feel better. I get fantastic support from my best friend too... as I mentioned, she's an online friend and I have never actually met her, but she understands me and I trust her completely. I am now a member of the ChildLine message boards - this are an awesome place where kids can support each other through difficult times. No problem is too big or too small to talk about - you can post about anything from arguments with siblings to bigger things like drinking and even doubts about periods and stuff. It is a safe space and very supportive.
Cathy says:
I love Shriya's honesty and openness... and her courage in turning things around. Have YOU ever struggled with mental health issues? COMMENT BELOW to have your say!
Pretty much on/off since I was 12 years old. Depression caused by family issues. I have adhd also, so my attention span isn't the greatest unless it's something I really enjoy. I have moments where I can be a bit hyper then a few minutes later that will pass and I'll be on a come down, as if I'm getting over a sugar rush. That always made school really difficult, the medication didn't help me. I had the majority of the side effects and started to self harm and became very withdrawn. Unfortunately back then I didn't have a choice, I had a very poor support network. School & home. So regardless to the side effects I was kept on medication because I was out the way, being quiet & not causing trouble.. Despite the adhd stigma, I never was naughty, no more than any other child anyway. I just never had the support I needed, so I fell behind at school, I'd forget things I'd have to do at home, and then started suffering with anxiety. These days I tend to keep it all quiet, very few know I have it. I'm scared of being judged too much, unfortunately that means when I'm struggling, people pass me off as being lazy.. I'm not, I just get side tracked easily and all my organisation goes out the window and I tend to forget a lot of things that I'm supposed to be doing. Sometimes I'm great, I've been able to go for a couple of years and not struggle. But then other times my moods are like a yo-yo. .. <3 xxx
ReplyDeleteYou sound like an amazing young person, perhaps stronger than you think. Keep on being awesome. xxx
DeleteI wouldn't quite go that far. I try, I'm only human though. <3 xxx
DeleteThat's amazing post and it sounds so like me because similar thing happened to me when my best friend alerted people because she was worried about me at the start then I got taken to the doctor. I don't have Borderline personality disorder though, I have Asperger syndrome and Anxiety disorder and depression (that's what it was found out I have in the end ) I'm so grateful for the help I have too.
ReplyDeleteI love how she says it is important to look after your mental health even if you dont have a problem, I think everyone should have check ups with the Psychiatrist just like we all go to the dentist regularly, mental health is just as important!
I think you're so right Lyricalwren... a check-up is what we all need at times, and would raise awareness and take the fear out of the issue too. xxx
DeleteThanks for publishing my post soooo much Cathy
ReplyDeleteI self harm a lot and I was bullied a lot so I've never liked myself however my family has been a great support but I don't think I'll ever feel important
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry you had to go through this. I won't tell you about my own experiences, but let's just say that I can identify with you a lot.
ReplyDeleteWow, I really identify with this post! I also have borderline personality disorder so I know exactly how Shriya feels. Sometimes, it's like nobody cares how I feel, and always say something insulting and I end up crying. I also have OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder), which makes me much of a perfectionist too! Wonderful post, you're so brave. Xxx
ReplyDelete