It's problem page time again on DREAMCATCHER... reader Mary has a friendship dilemma. Can Coco Tanberry help?
Mary says:
I have a small group of friends at school and there's this girl who is really nice I've made friends with. She has joined our friendship group, but one of my best friends has told me she doesn't like the new girl - although everyone else in the group does. I don't want to make my best friend hang out with someone she doesn't like, but I don't want to get rid of the new girl either. What should I do?
Coco says:
The fact that your best friend is the one reacting so strongly here suggests that this is a jealousy issue; if anyone else had brought the new girl into the group I suspect all would have been well. Your best friend is feeling insecure and pushed out, so they way to sort this is to give her more attention and reassure her that she is and always will be special to you. Why not arrange some sleepovers or days out, or plan some time for just the two of you to bond? This should help her to see that the new girl is no real threat. Friendship groups can be a test of our generosity at times, because there is always someone we like more or less than others, but that's life... and after all, you can never have too many friends! Make sure your best friend knows you're not trying to push her out and there's no reason why things shouldn't settle down again pretty fast. Good luck!
Cathy says:
Good advice from Coco... when friendship groups change it can be unsettling, but it's definitely worth putting in some extra effort to make sure everyone is happy. Have YOU ever been in this situation? COMMENT BELOW to have your say!
Mary says:
I have a small group of friends at school and there's this girl who is really nice I've made friends with. She has joined our friendship group, but one of my best friends has told me she doesn't like the new girl - although everyone else in the group does. I don't want to make my best friend hang out with someone she doesn't like, but I don't want to get rid of the new girl either. What should I do?
The fact that your best friend is the one reacting so strongly here suggests that this is a jealousy issue; if anyone else had brought the new girl into the group I suspect all would have been well. Your best friend is feeling insecure and pushed out, so they way to sort this is to give her more attention and reassure her that she is and always will be special to you. Why not arrange some sleepovers or days out, or plan some time for just the two of you to bond? This should help her to see that the new girl is no real threat. Friendship groups can be a test of our generosity at times, because there is always someone we like more or less than others, but that's life... and after all, you can never have too many friends! Make sure your best friend knows you're not trying to push her out and there's no reason why things shouldn't settle down again pretty fast. Good luck!
Cathy says:
Good advice from Coco... when friendship groups change it can be unsettling, but it's definitely worth putting in some extra effort to make sure everyone is happy. Have YOU ever been in this situation? COMMENT BELOW to have your say!
Even as an adult I went through this a few months ago. The only answer I have is to do things with each of them separately not as a group. Even then things didn't work out well, the said 'best friend' wasn't the person I thought she was and dumped me when I invited the other person to an event that she wasn't even interested in (crazy right!) Friendships are crazy. things will work themselves out, they always do. Can't say it will happen without some hurt feelings though.. Unfortunately.
ReplyDeletethanks Coco i think the advice will really help my situation
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