It's problem page time again on DREAMCATCHER... and reader Anita has a problem for SUMMER TANBERRY to solve!
Anita says:
Lately my brother has been so uptight, always trying to get me into trouble. If I try to tell my mum she tells me to stop being silly and to 'grow up' and ignore him, but how can I? I feel like I never want to see him or talk to him when I get home, but that isn't very nice, so I always chat and try my best and he is always just mean and moody back. Although occasionally he does understand me and helps me. Most of the time, though, he is moody and blanks me. How can I get him to change without confronting him, and without getting my mum involved?
Summer says:
Our family has its fair share of tensions, trust me... and Honey, my oldest sister, has been very moody and stroppy at times. Often this is when something outside is upsetting her, and that may be the case for your brother? If you don't want to involve your mum, the choice is either to ignore what's happening and hope it passes with time, or to talk gently with your brother and explain how much his attitude is hurting you. It shouldn't be a confrontation... more a chat about how much he means to you and how low you feel when he seems unhappy or impatient with you. Let him know you'll always listen if HE wants to talk about anything, and that you love him, no matter what. This might sound scary - you're making yourself vulnerable by being so open about your feelings - but it's a risk that may pay off and bring you closer. This hasn't always worked with Honey, I admit, and in that case the best way forward is to stay out of the firing line! Focus instead on giving your brother some space and avoiding anything that may wind him up. Be friendly and upbeat, but don't get involved... until this phase has passed and he is ready to be a loyal brother again! Good luck.
Cathy says:
Tricky - it's hard to know what may be upsetting Anita's brother, but unless he is willing to share his feelings she may not ever know. The important thing is not to take his moods personally, as Summer is right to point out that they may be linked to outside worries. Can YOU add anything more to Summer's advice? COMMENT BELOW to have your say!
Anita says:
Lately my brother has been so uptight, always trying to get me into trouble. If I try to tell my mum she tells me to stop being silly and to 'grow up' and ignore him, but how can I? I feel like I never want to see him or talk to him when I get home, but that isn't very nice, so I always chat and try my best and he is always just mean and moody back. Although occasionally he does understand me and helps me. Most of the time, though, he is moody and blanks me. How can I get him to change without confronting him, and without getting my mum involved?
Our family has its fair share of tensions, trust me... and Honey, my oldest sister, has been very moody and stroppy at times. Often this is when something outside is upsetting her, and that may be the case for your brother? If you don't want to involve your mum, the choice is either to ignore what's happening and hope it passes with time, or to talk gently with your brother and explain how much his attitude is hurting you. It shouldn't be a confrontation... more a chat about how much he means to you and how low you feel when he seems unhappy or impatient with you. Let him know you'll always listen if HE wants to talk about anything, and that you love him, no matter what. This might sound scary - you're making yourself vulnerable by being so open about your feelings - but it's a risk that may pay off and bring you closer. This hasn't always worked with Honey, I admit, and in that case the best way forward is to stay out of the firing line! Focus instead on giving your brother some space and avoiding anything that may wind him up. Be friendly and upbeat, but don't get involved... until this phase has passed and he is ready to be a loyal brother again! Good luck.
Cathy says:
Tricky - it's hard to know what may be upsetting Anita's brother, but unless he is willing to share his feelings she may not ever know. The important thing is not to take his moods personally, as Summer is right to point out that they may be linked to outside worries. Can YOU add anything more to Summer's advice? COMMENT BELOW to have your say!
My brother is exactly like that. He's 11, and is very tough and popular and can win me in a fight although he's two years younger. When he's getting to me, i sneakily have my phone on and try to provoke him, and as soon as he starts swearing/fighting i press record, and then i've got evidence!
ReplyDelete