Wednesday, 3 January 2018

NESSA: NEW YEAR, NEW ME?

It's problem page time on DREAMCATCHER again and reader Nessa has some big changes to make in the year ahead - what advice can SUMMER TANBERRY offer to help her?

Nessa says:
I have been bullied at school for two years and I am sick of the way my life is now. I'm at middle school, so in September 2018 I get the chance to start again at a different school to the one where the bullies will be going. I want to make this the year my life changes for the better. I want to lose weight, get more confidence, get fitter, get a trademark style and find some true friends. It's a lot of changes I know, but I am determined. I just don't really know how to start. In the past, I have tried to be different and at the first hurdle I give up, because my confidence is at rock bottom and I don't really have faith in myself. Please help!

Summer says:
You've summed it up - this problem really is all about confidence. Work on boosting self-esteem first, and the rest will follow... and go steady. The journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step, as the proverb goes. Read Cathy's book LETTERS TO CATHY, a non-fiction guide to growing up with a big focus on confidence to help kick start your journey... as the book says, you have to learn to like yourself first before you can expect others to do so. The bullying may not go on after middle school, but that's still another six months of it to suffer - my strong advice is to get help from your parents and teachers to tackle this now. See it as step one of the new, no-nonsense you. Next, look at health issues. Don't attempt to lose weight (that went very badly wrong for me) but focus instead on getting fit and healthy. Find an exercise or activity you love - cycling, swimming, dance, running, kick-boxing, judo - something that will get you moving and boost your feel-good endorphins and keep you smiling too. As for style, think about the things you love, the things you value, the things you admire - and base your style around that rather than trying to copy someone else or follow the latest trends. Be true to yourself and let your new, more confident personality shine through - the friendships will follow! Good luck, and Happy New Year!

Cathy says:
Great advice from Summer... big changes can be daunting, but breaking them down and taking them one bite at a time means you can achieve just about anything if you set your mind to it. Have YOU ever made a big change to your life? COMMENT BELOW to tell us more!

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