Sunday 18 January 2015


Reader Elise explores the subject of looks, confidence and society… and comes up with some unsettling conclusions…

Elise says:
Looks and confidence… people say they don't matter and it's what is on the inside that counts, yet these same people plaster themselves with make up so that nobody sees what is underneath, nobody sees the true 'them'. Why? What are we afraid of?

We have been brought up in a harsh and horrible society which scares us into doing as it wants us to. For example, if you are overweight, society says you are ugly and tries to sell you weight loss pills; if you have teenage spots, society tells you you'll never find a relationship and tries to sell you skin cream. We all know it's fake and we know it's all lies, but we fall into the trap over and over again.
We have grown up in a society where we are bullied and judged for our looks, and we blame society for this… but we ARE society! We will always be judged on our looks; it is the way it's always going to be for us. We try to find a way out, but we always fall into the trap of being lied to, or lying to ourselves just to feel better. It's a never ending circle of lies.

We can say, 'Don't judge a book by its cover,' or 'It's the inside that counts,' but we need to BELIEVE it too, and that's where we have to start from. The sad truth is that people are bullied and put down all the time because of their looks. Sometimes we are so broken that we glue all the pieces together with make-up, but we will always be fragile. Our lives will continue to be broken and difficult and sometimes this has less to do with pain and more to do with beauty. I see things very simply and I try to avoid lies like 'it's the inside that counts,' but people get caught up in this lie and others like it. People either hide their true selves or perhaps are scared to show it… what we see is often fake, unreal. Do we ever really know what other people are like inside? Can we trust that what they show us is the real them?

Pics posed by model Rebekah, photographed by Karen: thanks to you both!

Cathy says:
This is a powerful, heartfelt opinion piece, but very sad… do YOU agree with Elise, or do you think we can break free of the lies and be true to ourselves? COMMENT BELOW to have your say...


  1. I thought this was powerful and well-written, however, I feel as though this topic has been overused. In the last couple of months there have been at least 6 or 7 posts with this topic and they are all very similar. I find it helpful, but I just find it is getting repetitive. No offence intended. I just prefer craft, cooking and reader's opinions. :)

    1. The sunday slot is often reserved for serious topics, with lighter issues posted through the week. At the moment, I am low on stock and using up the finished features we have… so the repetition is entirely my fault and no reflection at all on the writer. I am working to a very tough deadline and dealing with a few other urgent issues, so time to work on DREAMCATCHER has been squeezed a little. The crafts and recipes and opinions will still feature lots! If you want to write something along those lines, please do contact me via link on my website or on the FB fanpage… contributors always welcome. xxx

    2. I actually emailed you two features... one about bullying and the other a question for Honey... did you get them?

    3. Probably… am massively behind with emails. I usually work on DREAMCATCHER from the FB fanpage, but if you re-send I will try to find time to edit and format your features. Without your name I can't do a search for them. I have work there, just zero time to work on it to get it ready to upload. Should improve after mid Feb. xxx

    4. Anon, I do get ur point but I really do believe that this topic is one which should be talked about a lot. Many teenage girls struggle with these issues, including me, so these blogposts really help a lot of people and if it's a thing we r told about a lot p, it does really push our self esteem up. The little things in life help a lot! Hamdi:)xxx

  2. Hi Elise,
    I know, and am always reminded by my family that i am a beautiful, loving person inside and out. I can believe the inside part, but not out. I have a lot of spots and have no idea how todo my hair before school and dont wear any makeup. People seem to think i am too spotty or not pretty enough. And that hurt my confidence, alot. But I am trying to show the world what iam inside and am also realising how the really popular, makeup covered girls are like behind their meaness and makeup. The meanest one in my school seems lost and hurt yet covers it so well. I wish she would let her true self shine out. But whats troubling me is, how to find out why boys can be so mean and horrible. Its so much harder to know why.
    But my message to everyone is Be STRONG and LET YOUR TRUE SELF SHINE OUT!
    Luv Rosa

    1. hey thank u so much for reading, I believe not every one hides them self's in make up and that's perfectly fine its you and your body its one think you have control over and you should be happy of it. for the thing about people being mean, I cant really help there someone is always going to mean if there wasn't it wouldn't really be the human race. so people are going to mean and that one reason people were make up and that why I do, but I am proud of anyone who doesn't and like to be free and show them selves! so don't let anyone pull you down! :)

  3. the other day, while I was waiting for my favourite TV programme to come on, there was this ad. selling this powder weight loss stuff. yesterday, I saw this thing for cosmetic surgery. what happened to being natural? what happened to natural beauty? what happened to being... you?

  4. I used to find that I'm happy with the way i look when I'm by myself but when I'm around people my age (especially boys) I look horrible. But now I try not to worry because I eat healthily and spots are part of growing up. There is this boy I know that I like but I think he hates me because of the way I look what should I do???



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