It's problem page time again on DREAMCATCHER and reader Natalie has a problem for Skye Tanberry to solve...
Natalie says:
Everyone I know makes a big deal of New Year and sets themselves new challenges and resolutions, but I don't know where to start because my life is rubbish and I cannot see a way of changing it. I am very overweight, I am thirteen and I am a size 16 already and I get picked on at school for being fat, sometimes in a jokey way and sometimes in a just plain cruel way. I have tried to diet but my mum cooks big meals with chips and bread the whole time, and if I refuse to eat what she's made, she gets cross. My whole family are big, but it's something we never talk about. I think I will end up like my mum, who has to make her own clothes. My dreams of a good career or a boyfriend or an adventurous future seem impossible. Even my friends pity me. I am hopeless at sport too. I cry myself to sleep at night wishing for a different life, but when I am very low I pig out on crisps and biscuits and make it all a million times worse. Please help me.
Skye says:
I have seen eating issues almost destroy my sister and I know it can work both ways, and that comfort eating can be just as dangerous and destructive. I think you have lost hope of changing things, but from where I am standing it does seem possible to turn things around. Crying yourself to sleep won't change anything - only determination can. You don't like sports - I don't either, but I love walking, cycling and swimming because they're not competitive and you can go at your own pace. It's important to get active because it lifts your mood and also gets you fit, so find an activity you like - or several - and aim to do something every day if you can. Exercise can offer more feel-good mood than eating biscuits ever could, I promise. If your family eat unhealthy meals, offer to cook now and then and show them how tasty healthy food can be. If you are worried, see your GP and ask for support to get healthy... your whole family can learn better ways to cook and eat and find out how to get fit. When you are low, it's easy to feel self-pity and give in to quick fixes like crisps and cola that make you feel better for a moment, but none of that will help. Only you can decide to change things, to take control of your life. If you genuinely want things to be different, you can make the changes to help it happen... give it the best effort you've got.
Cathy says:
Good advice... sometimes, change can seem almost impossible, but if Natalie stops putting obstacles in her own path she CAN take control of her life again. Do YOU agree with Skye's suggestions? Would you add anything? COMMENT BELOW to have your say!
Natalie says:
Everyone I know makes a big deal of New Year and sets themselves new challenges and resolutions, but I don't know where to start because my life is rubbish and I cannot see a way of changing it. I am very overweight, I am thirteen and I am a size 16 already and I get picked on at school for being fat, sometimes in a jokey way and sometimes in a just plain cruel way. I have tried to diet but my mum cooks big meals with chips and bread the whole time, and if I refuse to eat what she's made, she gets cross. My whole family are big, but it's something we never talk about. I think I will end up like my mum, who has to make her own clothes. My dreams of a good career or a boyfriend or an adventurous future seem impossible. Even my friends pity me. I am hopeless at sport too. I cry myself to sleep at night wishing for a different life, but when I am very low I pig out on crisps and biscuits and make it all a million times worse. Please help me.
Skye says:
I have seen eating issues almost destroy my sister and I know it can work both ways, and that comfort eating can be just as dangerous and destructive. I think you have lost hope of changing things, but from where I am standing it does seem possible to turn things around. Crying yourself to sleep won't change anything - only determination can. You don't like sports - I don't either, but I love walking, cycling and swimming because they're not competitive and you can go at your own pace. It's important to get active because it lifts your mood and also gets you fit, so find an activity you like - or several - and aim to do something every day if you can. Exercise can offer more feel-good mood than eating biscuits ever could, I promise. If your family eat unhealthy meals, offer to cook now and then and show them how tasty healthy food can be. If you are worried, see your GP and ask for support to get healthy... your whole family can learn better ways to cook and eat and find out how to get fit. When you are low, it's easy to feel self-pity and give in to quick fixes like crisps and cola that make you feel better for a moment, but none of that will help. Only you can decide to change things, to take control of your life. If you genuinely want things to be different, you can make the changes to help it happen... give it the best effort you've got.
Cathy says:
Good advice... sometimes, change can seem almost impossible, but if Natalie stops putting obstacles in her own path she CAN take control of her life again. Do YOU agree with Skye's suggestions? Would you add anything? COMMENT BELOW to have your say!
Hi I was wondering how you could get your story on this blog and have advice
ReplyDeleteCan you email me Em, (link on cathycassidy.com) or message me on FB to discuss? We are always looking for new contributors!
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thanks cathy!
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