It's problem page time again on DREAMCATCHER, and reader Dina has a problem for Skye Tanberry to solve...
Dina says:
I'm in Year Eight and somehow over the last year I have drifted away from my friends. One group were leaving me out and making fun of me, so I joined a different group but that didn't work out either and for the last few months I have been pretty much a loner at school. I have people I can sit with in lessons, but nobody to give cards or pressies to this Christmas and that makes me feel very sad. I don't want to go on this way.
Skye says:
Christmas is a perfect time to change things. Why not decide who you'd like to give cards to? The girl you sit with in maths, the person you chat to on the school bus, the kid you sometimes sit with at lunch? Write the cards and give them out, even if you get nothing in return; if you want to give a pressie too, make it something small, like a homemade friendship bracelet or a mini chocolate bar. You're showing you want to be friendly, and you can build on that in the New Year. Make resolutions to join school clubs and after hours groups - get involved and you'll find new skills, interests and friendships do develop. If you're still struggling, talk to your guidance tutor and get some adult support to make those connections... in time, you can find true friendships again.
Cathy says:
Wise words from Skye, but does she go far enough? What advice would YOU give to Dina? COMMENT BELOW to share your thoughts.
Dina says:
I'm in Year Eight and somehow over the last year I have drifted away from my friends. One group were leaving me out and making fun of me, so I joined a different group but that didn't work out either and for the last few months I have been pretty much a loner at school. I have people I can sit with in lessons, but nobody to give cards or pressies to this Christmas and that makes me feel very sad. I don't want to go on this way.
Christmas is a perfect time to change things. Why not decide who you'd like to give cards to? The girl you sit with in maths, the person you chat to on the school bus, the kid you sometimes sit with at lunch? Write the cards and give them out, even if you get nothing in return; if you want to give a pressie too, make it something small, like a homemade friendship bracelet or a mini chocolate bar. You're showing you want to be friendly, and you can build on that in the New Year. Make resolutions to join school clubs and after hours groups - get involved and you'll find new skills, interests and friendships do develop. If you're still struggling, talk to your guidance tutor and get some adult support to make those connections... in time, you can find true friendships again.
Cathy says:
Wise words from Skye, but does she go far enough? What advice would YOU give to Dina? COMMENT BELOW to share your thoughts.
What about making a shoe box gift to donate to your local food bank? It will go to a child who might not be getting any for Christmas due to family circumstances.
ReplyDeleteI had a similar problem when I started high school - and for the past few years now I've just had one best friend, and no-one else who was really close. But last year, another girl who I didn't know that well but sometimes chatted to gave me a box of chocolates for Christmas. It was just something small, and I wouldn't have given her anything, because I didn't feel I knew her that well, but I was actually really pleased that she gave me something. It kind of encouraged me to start chatting to her more often, and now we're much closer friends because of it.
ReplyDeleteSo I'd say, even if you don't know people that well, chocolates are a great way to encourage them to get to know you - and if you give them something early enough, you might get something in return!
Don't let people try to drag you into false friendships, but do try to talk to different people. At my school (which is very small) I joined different groups such as drama and that helped me make friends with people in years other than my own. Hope you find some good friends, I'm sure you deserve them :)
ReplyDeleteI agree with Skye and I think she's be feeling my vibe when I say "Let fate run it's course". Friendships change a lot when you are your age and that's normal and okay. It will work out.
ReplyDelete