Reader ZOE shares a problem for CHERRY COSTELLO to shed some light on... do YOU agree with her advice?
Zoe says:
I feel so alone. I have been feeling for a while that I can’t open up to people and that nobody will understand me. It’s not that I’m going through anything major, I just find it hard to see how my feelings would be of interest to people. I’ve always been like this but recently I’ve had people comment on how I should speak to people more, since I’m always there for my friends. The only person I trust enough to speak to is my sister but she’s leaving home soon and wont be there for me in the same way.
Cherry says:
I’ve been there - it’s not nice feeling that no one is there for you, but let me tell you, they are. You sound like a caring person if you’re there for everyone else, but don’t use this to mask your own problems. It’s fairly common for your personality type to try to take on the troubles of everyone else as a way of ignoring their own. You could start by keeping a feelings journal, writing things down no matter how seemingly insignificant is a great way of getting things out in the open. It trivialises situations that may seem major in your head. This may be a step towards being able to be more open in general. All the same, it's worth remembering that not everyone wears their heart on their sleeve... it's OK not to over-share, if that's what feels right to you. It could be your instincts flagging up who you should and shouldn't trust! Don't let anyone make you feel inadequate just for being a private person - a true friend will understand and respect that.
Cathy says:
I was just like Zoe in school! It takes time to trust people and it's scary but opening up it can be a great way to sort out your worries, no matter how trivial. Have YOU had similar issues with sharing your feelings? If so COMMENT BELOW with tips...
Zoe says:
I feel so alone. I have been feeling for a while that I can’t open up to people and that nobody will understand me. It’s not that I’m going through anything major, I just find it hard to see how my feelings would be of interest to people. I’ve always been like this but recently I’ve had people comment on how I should speak to people more, since I’m always there for my friends. The only person I trust enough to speak to is my sister but she’s leaving home soon and wont be there for me in the same way.
I’ve been there - it’s not nice feeling that no one is there for you, but let me tell you, they are. You sound like a caring person if you’re there for everyone else, but don’t use this to mask your own problems. It’s fairly common for your personality type to try to take on the troubles of everyone else as a way of ignoring their own. You could start by keeping a feelings journal, writing things down no matter how seemingly insignificant is a great way of getting things out in the open. It trivialises situations that may seem major in your head. This may be a step towards being able to be more open in general. All the same, it's worth remembering that not everyone wears their heart on their sleeve... it's OK not to over-share, if that's what feels right to you. It could be your instincts flagging up who you should and shouldn't trust! Don't let anyone make you feel inadequate just for being a private person - a true friend will understand and respect that.
Cathy says:
I was just like Zoe in school! It takes time to trust people and it's scary but opening up it can be a great way to sort out your worries, no matter how trivial. Have YOU had similar issues with sharing your feelings? If so COMMENT BELOW with tips...
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