Saturday 14 February 2015


Another in our regular series of how to handle difficult situations… reader Emma looks at bereavement.

Emma says:
I'm aware this isn't a happy-go-lucky topic, but it is an issue we all have to deal with at some point. Nothing quite compares with the feeling of losing a loved one, but although it is a far from easy process, I am a firm believer that it is 'always darkest before the dawn.' With these tips, I hope we can healthily deal with grief and bereavement.

* Give yourself time to truly accept the loss. Take time out - be alone, listen to music, do whatever it takes, but don't rush things and be gentle with yourself. This is the first and most essential step in dealing with this very fragile yet over-powering experience.

* Don't be afraid to lean on your nearest and dearest! If the person you're mourning was close to them too, you can guarantee they will be grieving also; nobody will understand what you are going through better than those who are going through the same process. Alternatively, if those close to you have no connection with the person you have lost, their support can still ease the situation emotionally and mentally.

* Let yourself feel ALL the emotions you are struggling with. Your emotions may be in a whirl… veering from hurt and guilt and anger to regret, sorrow and loss. Allow yourself to feel and acknowledge all of these… they are a part of the grieving process. Allowing yourself to feel these emotions helps you to recover both mentally and physically.

* Perhaps pay a personal tribute to your loved one. It could be something as simple as planting a tree or a rose bush - whatever you feel might suit that person's personality. Or you may think up a different way to mark their passing and say a quiet and personal farewell. This can be a powerful way to help with the bereavement process and ensure that you can retain a connection to your lost loved one in a physical as well an emotional way.

Photograph: with thanks to model Eden.

Cathy says:
As always, Emma has great advice to offer for a very difficult situation. Have YOU ever lost a loved one? How did you cope? COMMENT BELOW to share your advice and help other readers going through this situation.


  1. I unfortunately lost my Granny to Cancer. It just got to the point when she as a person felt it was the right to leave. It sometimes upsets me but I was about 7 so never really understood properly. It bugs me as well, ok Nana introduced me to the Scillys, I guess there's never really that person you need when you get to the age where you should understand. Me and Mum always say hi when we pass the bench her ashes are spread on, that's how we make contact really.

  2. Two years ago I lost my grandad and one year later I also lost my grandma. This is really sad because my grandma want sick at all. Every time we pass their graves we talk to them. My advise to anyone who's going through something similar is to remember the happy times and stay positive.



Reader Emily, aged ten, explains how a Cathy Cassidy book inspired her to raise money for a refugee charity... Emily says: The Cathy Cassidy...