Wednesday 6 May 2015


Reader Nina is finding growing up pretty stressful; can Coco Tanberry offer some good advice?

Nina says:
My parents don't give me enough independence, but when I try to stand up to them they yell at me and tell me I'm just being awkward. They make jokes about me being adopted, but I'm not, and it hurts and doesn't seem funny to me. They might just be cranky because we have some money problems but it still hurts. Also, I have to wear a bra and have started my period even though I'm not even twelve yet, and when I'm getting changed for PE my friends stare and sometimes talk behind my back. I don't like this growing up stuff.

Coco says:
I feel your pain. Being the youngest of five sisters/stepsisters, I get treated like I am about three sometimes… Paddy and Charlotte can't see that I'm probably more sensible than all of the others put together. The only way to get more freedom and independence is to earn it, and that means being reliable and not making too much fuss over curfews and occasions when you aren't allowed to do something. I would have a quiet word about the being adopted joke, though, because that would hurt my feelings too… if you explain how bad it makes you feel, I am sure they'll stop. As for periods and bras, I am coming at this from another angle… I am a bit of a slow developer, and that can be a pain too. I think your friends are just curious and probably envious, and perhaps shy of asking questions about the growing up process. The trick is to act confident and pretend you are comfortable with your new body… others will then take it in their stride too. I feel a bit left behind as I am still flat as a board, but I pretend I don't care and nobody teases me. The others WILL catch you up soon, anyway… growing up happens to us all!

Cathy says:
Do YOU agree with Coco's advice? Do YOU ever find growing up a hassle? COMMENT BELOW to have your say!


  1. I relate to this ...i hate growing up

  2. I can't say I hate growing up- that would be a lie... It's just life isn't agreeing with me at the moment and hasn't for the past 3 weeks. But that's fine, life throws stuff at us for a reason.

    1. I hope it gets better for you in the next few weeks Chloe

  3. I dislike growing up feeling one day you'll have to be independent of your parents is a horrible feeling.

  4. growing up sucks...i'm 12 and i'm the same

  5. i dont hate every bit of growing up, but it can be really stressful. the whole thing is one big roller coaster but it will end, one day... you just have to do the things you love and hang out with friends an family

  6. The first to develop at your age, yes, are the first to face the dreaded spots and acne...but are also the first to feel the confidence and happiness of finally looking grown-up. The first to develop in a mental maturity sense, as you are trying to do, are also the first to gain the respect and freedom from authority figures. I know you may feel like these two things don't really balance out, but if you are willing to be trustworthy and reliable your freedom will skyrocket!



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