Another in our occasional series of reader's problems… solved by one of the Chocolate Box Girls. With your help, of course! This time, CHERRY tries to help…
Louisa says:
Two years ago, my mum and dad split up and Dad moved out. I know Mum was gutted but she has never tried to stop my brother and I from seeing Dad or tried to make out he is a bad person (which is what my friend's mum did when her boyfriend left). I thought we were all handling it well, but Dad has just told us he's got a new live-in girlfriend. I do NOT want to meet her. She's nothing to do with me, so why should I have to get to know her? I know she had nothing to do with the break-up, but I cannot stand the thought of Dad being with someone new, and though Mum seems to be taking it in her stride I know I would feel SO disloyal handing out with this woman. Help!
Cherry says:
I had to adjust pretty quickly when my dad met Charlotte Tanberry - and, worse, she came as a package with four perfect daughters too. I do know what you mean about feeling disloyal; even though my mum had been gone for years, I still felt guilty the first time I met Charlotte - as if I was trying to replace Mum, even though I wasn't. All I can say is you MUST give your dad's new girlfriend a chance. She's not trying to replace your mum, but she IS important to your dad and if all of you can get along things will be much easier for everyone. If you refuse to see her, you are actually forcing your dad to choose between you, and it may not end well. Even if he does choose you, he may be resentful.
If your mum doesn't have an issue with this woman, why should you? She may be great - after all, your dad likes her, right? Be brave and get to know her… don't be too quick to judge. Charlotte Tanberry is my stepmum now and one of the most important people in my life. I think the world of her, and my stepsisters too. Well, most of them! (That's a different story, but I'm working on it!)
Good luck Louisa. Let go of the fear and try to accept this woman - I bet she is just as scared as you are about the meeting!
Cathy says:
What advice would YOU give Louisa? Is it important that she gives her dad's girlfriend a fair chance? Why? What would YOU do? COMMENT BELOW to have your say!
Louisa says:
Two years ago, my mum and dad split up and Dad moved out. I know Mum was gutted but she has never tried to stop my brother and I from seeing Dad or tried to make out he is a bad person (which is what my friend's mum did when her boyfriend left). I thought we were all handling it well, but Dad has just told us he's got a new live-in girlfriend. I do NOT want to meet her. She's nothing to do with me, so why should I have to get to know her? I know she had nothing to do with the break-up, but I cannot stand the thought of Dad being with someone new, and though Mum seems to be taking it in her stride I know I would feel SO disloyal handing out with this woman. Help!
I had to adjust pretty quickly when my dad met Charlotte Tanberry - and, worse, she came as a package with four perfect daughters too. I do know what you mean about feeling disloyal; even though my mum had been gone for years, I still felt guilty the first time I met Charlotte - as if I was trying to replace Mum, even though I wasn't. All I can say is you MUST give your dad's new girlfriend a chance. She's not trying to replace your mum, but she IS important to your dad and if all of you can get along things will be much easier for everyone. If you refuse to see her, you are actually forcing your dad to choose between you, and it may not end well. Even if he does choose you, he may be resentful.
If your mum doesn't have an issue with this woman, why should you? She may be great - after all, your dad likes her, right? Be brave and get to know her… don't be too quick to judge. Charlotte Tanberry is my stepmum now and one of the most important people in my life. I think the world of her, and my stepsisters too. Well, most of them! (That's a different story, but I'm working on it!)
Good luck Louisa. Let go of the fear and try to accept this woman - I bet she is just as scared as you are about the meeting!
Cathy says:
What advice would YOU give Louisa? Is it important that she gives her dad's girlfriend a fair chance? Why? What would YOU do? COMMENT BELOW to have your say!
Louisa, my friend had the same problem a few years ago and now her Dad's girlfriend is like part of the family and she does not have a problem with it. So stay strong and face your fears!!! Emma :)
ReplyDeleteI think everyone deserves to be given a fair chance. It doesn't matter if they're different or somehow in the way of a perfect life. Befriending your dad's girlfriend will not make you a bad person. To be honest, it'll make you a better person. That I can promise you!
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