It's problem page time again on DREAMCATCHER and reader Clare has a worry for Cherry Costello to solve...
Clare says:
Lately I've been feeling invisible, like people don't know I exist at all. Our family move around a lot and I've only been at this school for a year. I watch my classmates laugh and chat, but I feel so left out. I have no best friend, I'm just part of a group, and I have nothing interesting or clever to add to conversations. I want to fit in. I find it easy to make friends, but once I have them I feel fake and attention seeking, as though I don't deserve them. My friends are all sporty and I prefer reading - how can I fit in more?
Cherry says:
I'm shy too, so I understand the feeling of being on the edge, feeling worried that you have nothing cool to add to the group. When I first moved to Somerset, I joined a new friendship group where everyone seemed much cooler and more interesting than me... but I quickly saw that they weren't better, they were just different. As soon as I stopped trying to impress them and be someone/ something I wasn't, real friendships began to form. It sounds a bit mad, but if you believe in yourself, others will too, and if you're low in confidence others will pick up on this. OK, so your friends are sporty and you're not - how about finding something that all of you might enjoy? Ice skating, a bike ride to the country, a yoga class? And try lending them your favourite books to see if you can find some common ground there... you might be surprised to find a few of them are keen! Friendship is always a two-way process, and it sounds as though you've put yourself on the sidelines just recently. Step forward and get involved - make it clear that you're not invisible, not sidelined. Be a part of this friendship group and you'll find the rewards are well worth the effort.
Cathy says:
Good advice from Cherry - is there anything YOU would add? COMMENT BELOW to add your suggestions for Clare!
Clare says:
Lately I've been feeling invisible, like people don't know I exist at all. Our family move around a lot and I've only been at this school for a year. I watch my classmates laugh and chat, but I feel so left out. I have no best friend, I'm just part of a group, and I have nothing interesting or clever to add to conversations. I want to fit in. I find it easy to make friends, but once I have them I feel fake and attention seeking, as though I don't deserve them. My friends are all sporty and I prefer reading - how can I fit in more?
I'm shy too, so I understand the feeling of being on the edge, feeling worried that you have nothing cool to add to the group. When I first moved to Somerset, I joined a new friendship group where everyone seemed much cooler and more interesting than me... but I quickly saw that they weren't better, they were just different. As soon as I stopped trying to impress them and be someone/ something I wasn't, real friendships began to form. It sounds a bit mad, but if you believe in yourself, others will too, and if you're low in confidence others will pick up on this. OK, so your friends are sporty and you're not - how about finding something that all of you might enjoy? Ice skating, a bike ride to the country, a yoga class? And try lending them your favourite books to see if you can find some common ground there... you might be surprised to find a few of them are keen! Friendship is always a two-way process, and it sounds as though you've put yourself on the sidelines just recently. Step forward and get involved - make it clear that you're not invisible, not sidelined. Be a part of this friendship group and you'll find the rewards are well worth the effort.
Cathy says:
Good advice from Cherry - is there anything YOU would add? COMMENT BELOW to add your suggestions for Clare!
I know how she feels, I agree with Cherry I think she should try to join a club thats small or if there is no club that she likes at school, maybe her mum could talk to a teacher to create a new club and ask them to help include her with the others (but make sure nobody knows about that plan ) Something like that happened at my school once.
ReplyDeleteI think that the club idea is a good one. How about you start talking to a fellow classmate, first about a subject that is recent, or something in class-and get talking, get to know each other. You could also get involved in different projects, if there is anything like that around school. You should also ask your group about what they think about certain topics and what they like, and discuss that, and tell them what you like.
ReplyDeleteI had loads of hobbies when I was younger. In fact, most of the time I couldn't keep up with them! Ballet, ballroom,tap, modern, singing, gymnastics, table tennis all sorts .
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