Today's problem page dilemma sees reader Codie asking Skye Tanberry for advice on a holiday romance… will you agree with Skye's advice?
Codie says:
At the start of August we went on holiday to Spain for a week. We stayed in a big hotel that had a teen club and I made lots of new friends, including a Scottish boy called Alex. He was really nice and we had lots in common, and he was good looking too. I fell for him pretty much right away. We only got together at the very end of the holiday, because I think both of us were quite shy. There was a beach party and we got talking and we took a walk along the beach and held hands and he said that he would miss me. We had a sort-of kiss, which turned into a hug, and that was it. I am gutted now because I didn't have the courage to ask him for his address or email and I don't know how to find him. I would do anything to see him again or be in contact. I've tried looking on Facebook and Instagram and I can't find him. I don't think I will ever get over this, I feel so upset.
Skye says:
You won't want to hear this, but a holiday romance is not the real world. On holiday, different rules apply and people get together who may not be suited in real life. I think this is what happened to me and Finch. It felt like magic, the way we met, and we had one wonderful summer together, but when I saw him in London afterwards I knew I just didn't fit into his life. We were too different. With you and Alex, there was definitely an attraction, but you were just getting to know each other so it was far too soon to say whether you had the basis for a real life relationship. You both had the chance to exchange addresses and mobile numbers etc, but you didn't… perhaps through shyness, perhaps because you both knew that trying to start a long distance relationship would be too difficult. Instead of letting regret and sadness ruin your summer, remember that special night and know that he will remember it too. Don't expect anything more… this romance was not meant to last, but in time you will find the right boy for you and there will be no shyness, no doubts. Good luck.
Cathy says:
Wise words from Skye… but do YOU agree? Have you any advice to add? COMMENT BELOW to have your say!
Codie says:
At the start of August we went on holiday to Spain for a week. We stayed in a big hotel that had a teen club and I made lots of new friends, including a Scottish boy called Alex. He was really nice and we had lots in common, and he was good looking too. I fell for him pretty much right away. We only got together at the very end of the holiday, because I think both of us were quite shy. There was a beach party and we got talking and we took a walk along the beach and held hands and he said that he would miss me. We had a sort-of kiss, which turned into a hug, and that was it. I am gutted now because I didn't have the courage to ask him for his address or email and I don't know how to find him. I would do anything to see him again or be in contact. I've tried looking on Facebook and Instagram and I can't find him. I don't think I will ever get over this, I feel so upset.
You won't want to hear this, but a holiday romance is not the real world. On holiday, different rules apply and people get together who may not be suited in real life. I think this is what happened to me and Finch. It felt like magic, the way we met, and we had one wonderful summer together, but when I saw him in London afterwards I knew I just didn't fit into his life. We were too different. With you and Alex, there was definitely an attraction, but you were just getting to know each other so it was far too soon to say whether you had the basis for a real life relationship. You both had the chance to exchange addresses and mobile numbers etc, but you didn't… perhaps through shyness, perhaps because you both knew that trying to start a long distance relationship would be too difficult. Instead of letting regret and sadness ruin your summer, remember that special night and know that he will remember it too. Don't expect anything more… this romance was not meant to last, but in time you will find the right boy for you and there will be no shyness, no doubts. Good luck.
Cathy says:
Wise words from Skye… but do YOU agree? Have you any advice to add? COMMENT BELOW to have your say!
From personal experience, I agree with Skye. Remembering the time you shared is a positive thing to take from this, even if it is best for you to move on.
ReplyDeleteI had a romance when I went away on my first cadet camp to RAF Halton about four years ago. It didn't last, and we didn't keep in contact much after because we grew apart. Having a relationship doesn't guarantee it will work out in the long run.
Romance takes a lot of practice and patience, but is worth it when the right person comes along :)
Definitely brilliant advice - I couldn't even think of that myself!
ReplyDeleteI know exactly how you feel Codie. When I was in America, I fell for a boy. The weird thing was, I was staying in his house. Mine and his parents were friends. We spent about a week there, and I had such a good time. There were moments when I thought he liked my too, like when he nicknamed me 'Emmy'. But nothing special happened. As we were saying goodbye, he came over to me. He had hugged everyone else, and wasn't sure if he would do the same to me. He sort of held his arms out, and I took the opportunity. As we were driving away, I couldn't help regretted that I hadn't spoken to him. He doesn't have social media, and even if I had his number, it would cost too much.
ReplyDeleteAt least you had a relationship, whereas I'll never know.