Reader Zaila talks honestly about coming to terms with her sexuality and how she chose to tell friends and family…
Zaila says:
Up until February of this year, I never gave too much thought to my sexuality… it just didn't cross my mind. Then I discovered I was gay. I had a small crush on another girl, and the realisation grew from there. It was a very slow and gradual process, but I knew it was true and felt amazed that I hadn't thought about it before. I kept all of this secret for two months, but in April I decided to open up to my family, to come out so that I could feel more secure in myself and finally be wholly proud of the person I am. Later that same day I came out to my close friends, and finally to my entire school community and classmates.
Both my mum and my close friends have been really supportive and brilliant, and both offered advice, support and help. My friends made it clear they would be there for me no matter what. Not all of my family know, however. My auntie, uncle and both sets of grandparents are clueless about my sexuality and although I plan to tell my auntie soon I will be far more cautious with my grandparents as I think they not be quite as understanding. They don't need to know right now, and my cousins are either quite distant or too young to properly understand.
After coming out at school, rumours flew like leaves in autumn. One of the more ironic stories was that I was dating my best friend - er, no! She's straight! Even now the rumours haven't fully died down and I'm not sure they ever will. Coming out was the best way for me to handle things, but not everyone will react well and I understand that others may make different choices. Wherever you may fall within the LGBT community, not everyone will be perfectly accepting, and that may be hard to cope with. If you are a lesbian or gay teen, remember that you are not alone. Never be afraid to be the person you are!
Cathy says:
Attitudes are changing towards the LGBT community and acceptance is much more the norm now, but I admire Zaila's honesty and courage in choosing to be open about her feelings. Have YOU ever had to tell friends and family something like this? COMMENT BELOW to have your say!
Up until February of this year, I never gave too much thought to my sexuality… it just didn't cross my mind. Then I discovered I was gay. I had a small crush on another girl, and the realisation grew from there. It was a very slow and gradual process, but I knew it was true and felt amazed that I hadn't thought about it before. I kept all of this secret for two months, but in April I decided to open up to my family, to come out so that I could feel more secure in myself and finally be wholly proud of the person I am. Later that same day I came out to my close friends, and finally to my entire school community and classmates.
Both my mum and my close friends have been really supportive and brilliant, and both offered advice, support and help. My friends made it clear they would be there for me no matter what. Not all of my family know, however. My auntie, uncle and both sets of grandparents are clueless about my sexuality and although I plan to tell my auntie soon I will be far more cautious with my grandparents as I think they not be quite as understanding. They don't need to know right now, and my cousins are either quite distant or too young to properly understand.
After coming out at school, rumours flew like leaves in autumn. One of the more ironic stories was that I was dating my best friend - er, no! She's straight! Even now the rumours haven't fully died down and I'm not sure they ever will. Coming out was the best way for me to handle things, but not everyone will react well and I understand that others may make different choices. Wherever you may fall within the LGBT community, not everyone will be perfectly accepting, and that may be hard to cope with. If you are a lesbian or gay teen, remember that you are not alone. Never be afraid to be the person you are!
Cathy says:
Attitudes are changing towards the LGBT community and acceptance is much more the norm now, but I admire Zaila's honesty and courage in choosing to be open about her feelings. Have YOU ever had to tell friends and family something like this? COMMENT BELOW to have your say!
I accidentally came out to a friend once because we were looking over the activities for the last day of school and she said her crush was doing the same activity as her in the afternoon. I looked at my activity and said "My crush is doing the same activity as me too" and my friend looked at the list of people and said "...but there's only girls on that list?" Whoops! She promptly told my other friend even though I told her not to but they were both pretty nonchalant about it. I guess they'd suspected it for a while. It was 6 months later that I came out to my brother and several months after that that I came out to my mum. They were both cool with it which I knew my brother would be but hadn't expected from Mum as she was brought up Catholic and taught that LGBT people were wrong. She said she loved me whatever my sexuality though, and she's proven that as my first assumption that I was bisexual has had to be revised a few times. I'm now comfortable with the knowledge that I'm asexual and homoromantic. I always knew I was asexual but I didn't know the word until I was 18 and I'd thought there was just something wrong with me. And I had difficulty working out aesthetic attraction and romantic attraction for a while. Doh! Hair envy does not mean I fancy guys!
ReplyDeletei HAVE had a giRL CrUsh BeFoRe BuT i ONly Told MY SISTER AND MY OTHER BFF9WHO I HAD A CRUSH ON) SHE'S STRAIGHT THOUUGH....
ReplyDelete