Another in our regular problem-page series… reader Mandy asks Chocolate Box Girl Skye Tanberry for advice on a hauntingly difficult question…
Mandy says:
My problem sounds so strange I can't tell anyone about it… they wouldn't understand. I'm asking you because you also fell for a 'ghost boy', or sort of, anyway. I was working on a history project for school about an old sawmill near where I live. It is supposed to be haunted by the ghost of a fifteen year old boy who drowned in the mill-race in the 19th century. I found a picture of the boy online, and all I seem to do since then is to think of him. I feel like I know him, and I can't help wishing I had known him; perhaps I could have saved him somehow. He looks so nice and so different from the boys I know. It sounds crazy, but this is a little bit like being haunted… and it is making me so unhappy that my friends have noticed something is wrong. What can I do?
Skye says:
I know you don't want to hear this, but although this feeling may be very real and very intense, it is still a crush. It's a one-way feeling for someone out of reach - you cannot get more out of reach than a boy who died more than a hundred years ago, after all. Yes, he was handsome and yes, he may have been nice, but he was from a different time; it is your imagination which has conjured up a romance, a story around his image. That is what a crush is, really. Put any thoughts of hauntings or ghosts out of your mind… those things won't help, because this is not a supernatural happening but a fantasy. It's time to step back and let go. Throw yourself into school, work, hobbies… anything to take your mind off this. In time, the fascination will fade and you will be free to fall for a real-life boy, someone attainable… and not a boy from long ago who can never be yours. Good luck.
Cathy says:
Hard-hitting advice from Skye… do YOU agree? Is this a ghostly crush or just a fantasy? COMMENT BELOW to have your say!
Mandy says:
My problem sounds so strange I can't tell anyone about it… they wouldn't understand. I'm asking you because you also fell for a 'ghost boy', or sort of, anyway. I was working on a history project for school about an old sawmill near where I live. It is supposed to be haunted by the ghost of a fifteen year old boy who drowned in the mill-race in the 19th century. I found a picture of the boy online, and all I seem to do since then is to think of him. I feel like I know him, and I can't help wishing I had known him; perhaps I could have saved him somehow. He looks so nice and so different from the boys I know. It sounds crazy, but this is a little bit like being haunted… and it is making me so unhappy that my friends have noticed something is wrong. What can I do?
I know you don't want to hear this, but although this feeling may be very real and very intense, it is still a crush. It's a one-way feeling for someone out of reach - you cannot get more out of reach than a boy who died more than a hundred years ago, after all. Yes, he was handsome and yes, he may have been nice, but he was from a different time; it is your imagination which has conjured up a romance, a story around his image. That is what a crush is, really. Put any thoughts of hauntings or ghosts out of your mind… those things won't help, because this is not a supernatural happening but a fantasy. It's time to step back and let go. Throw yourself into school, work, hobbies… anything to take your mind off this. In time, the fascination will fade and you will be free to fall for a real-life boy, someone attainable… and not a boy from long ago who can never be yours. Good luck.
Cathy says:
Hard-hitting advice from Skye… do YOU agree? Is this a ghostly crush or just a fantasy? COMMENT BELOW to have your say!
This is a fantasy type crush. A bit like an imaginary crush, it may seem soooo real, but trust me it will fade. No ghost Is haunting u, I swear.
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