Another in our series of readers' problems… solved by one of the Chocolate Box Girls, along with you, of course! This week HONEY has her say…
Jackie says:
This might sound stupid, but I am SO nervous about starting secondary school in September. I am going to a school on the other side of the city to all of my friends and I won't know anybody… and I'm not a very confident person. I know I'll be shy and awkward and I'm literally terrified I won't make any friends. In fact, I don't feel ready for secondary school at all, let alone one where I won't know a soul! Any advice welcome…
Honey says:
Try this tip which has always worked for me… fake it till you make it. I don't mean act 'fake', I mean act as though you're not scared… focus on looking calm and cool and confident, and slowly it will help you to relax and handle whatever your new school has in store. I recently had to start a new school on the other side of the WORLD, and trust me, that was not easy. I may give the impression of being super-confident, but think again - nobody takes stuff like that in their stride.
The way to make friends is to be interested in other people… listen to them, ask questions that let them talk about themselves, be chatty and friendly and warm. This makes people feel good about themselves! Practice your techniques on the girl at the supermarket check-out, your little cousin, the boy next door, your best friend's grandma… anyone! It's all good. As for those old friends, make sure you stay in touch - that's something I haven't been too good at in the past, but I'm learning to change my ways. Friendships matter, so don't let them drift - and these days, with letters, emails, social networking, texts and Skype you don't have any excuse. Some of my best friends are halfway around the world… yours are just across town, so make time for them with sleepovers and days out. School is nothing to be scared of… give it your best!
Cathy says:
Do you agree with Honey's advice? What would YOU say? COMMENT BELOW to add your views and suggestions!
Jackie says:
This might sound stupid, but I am SO nervous about starting secondary school in September. I am going to a school on the other side of the city to all of my friends and I won't know anybody… and I'm not a very confident person. I know I'll be shy and awkward and I'm literally terrified I won't make any friends. In fact, I don't feel ready for secondary school at all, let alone one where I won't know a soul! Any advice welcome…
Try this tip which has always worked for me… fake it till you make it. I don't mean act 'fake', I mean act as though you're not scared… focus on looking calm and cool and confident, and slowly it will help you to relax and handle whatever your new school has in store. I recently had to start a new school on the other side of the WORLD, and trust me, that was not easy. I may give the impression of being super-confident, but think again - nobody takes stuff like that in their stride.
The way to make friends is to be interested in other people… listen to them, ask questions that let them talk about themselves, be chatty and friendly and warm. This makes people feel good about themselves! Practice your techniques on the girl at the supermarket check-out, your little cousin, the boy next door, your best friend's grandma… anyone! It's all good. As for those old friends, make sure you stay in touch - that's something I haven't been too good at in the past, but I'm learning to change my ways. Friendships matter, so don't let them drift - and these days, with letters, emails, social networking, texts and Skype you don't have any excuse. Some of my best friends are halfway around the world… yours are just across town, so make time for them with sleepovers and days out. School is nothing to be scared of… give it your best!
Cathy says:
Do you agree with Honey's advice? What would YOU say? COMMENT BELOW to add your views and suggestions!
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteI've changed schools two times, the first for the 5th year of primary school where all the girls in my class were literally fierce on me (and where I keep a very bad memory), and the start in the secondary school. Restart from scratch was really a wonderful thing for me. My first year was a little hard for me, but much less than the 5th year of primary school. I don't want to worry you Jackie: As said Honey, is staying yourself that you will succeed. The return to secondary school is still an impressive and very stressful thing you don't know anyone and you are afraid of being embarrassed, of stammering or of seeming to ridiculous. But after a few weeks, you will already to the establishment and of your timetable... and I'm sure: students also (and not necessarily those of your class!). Believe me: I've moved five times in total, but only one was the hardest to bear. The best friends you meet in your life are certainly those of college (and then after too !).
ReplyDeleteI wish you lots of good things, courage and great friends ;)
Xxx
Don't worry about not knowing anyone. Other people will be in the same situation as you. And as for making friends, just be yourself so people see who you are.
ReplyDeleteJoin clubs and co-curriculars that you are interested in, because you'll meet a lot of people who have the same interests as you. This is important because you'll feel like you truly belong somewhere.
ReplyDeleteGood luck, it's normal to be nervous :-)
Its normal to be nervous but do smile at some girls that you think would be nice to make friends with. Relax though because friends will naturally come to you if you are nice.
ReplyDeleteIf this doesn't works, you can try communicating with your form teacher and see what you can do about it.
Think positive and don't fret about it too much.
Just remember everyone is in the same boat - everyone is starting a new new school knowing very little people so they're all probably just as scared as you!
ReplyDeleteTry to set yourself goals towards making new friends, such as talking to someone new each day - or even each lesson - whatever suits you best.
Also, you could try going to places at breaks that are to do with your interests as this is a great way to meet people who you have things in common with, for example: if you like books (who doesn't?! ��) go to the library and soon you'll get talking to people who are into books and reading.
Good luck :)
i am starting secondary school as well. i went on transition last week. it is normal to feel worried, but i have made some friends (just by smiling and waving and saying hi!) and i can't wait to go! please don't be worried. it's nothing to be afraid of!
ReplyDeleteI am starting secondary school as well. I agree with honey. Try not to look scared and worried. I went on transition last week. I liked it! Don't worry if you don't make friends straight away.
ReplyDeleteI am starting secondary school as well. Last week i went for transition. I liked it! Don't worry if you don't make friends instantly. You sound like me too.
ReplyDeleteI bet in your school school years you've had new people, right? Think about how they started to fit in...
ReplyDeleteEmily xxx
Im starting secondary school soon and im surprisingly not nervous. keep in mind that you'll make new friends fast, just try to be yourself, its the quickest and best way to make friends that understand you, and who you also trust.
ReplyDeletedon't worry its really fun! especially making new friends, I'm sure u'll make loads!Hamdi:)xxx
ReplyDelete